Both of my boys have a cold. And they're letting me know all about it. As they're Men in Training, they are trying very hard to convince me that, because they're practically men already, that I should treat them with proper deference and kidglove-iness and bring them treats and juice and otherwise coddle them because they have baby Man Colds. You can imagine my reaction to that, can't you? Yes, they are getting their own juice, thankyouverymuch, since I have, in no particular order: my own cold, complete with the golf ball in my ear thing going on, leprosy, gobs of homework, and a back injury.
But their colds have given me quite a few funny conversational snippets to share with you. Like this one: I picked up a pizza on the way home from the library yesterday. Hey, I was following sound medical advice--Feed a cold, starve a fever. Or is it the other way around? No matter, since one kid has a fever and the other just has your garden variety cold. So I decided to feed both the fever and the cold and I fed them pizza. That's good parenting right there. Feel free to take notes. Anyway, as we were driving home Seven said, "Oh, I can smell the pizza-y goodness." Ten grumbled, "Well I can't because even my good nostril isn't working."
Then later, we experienced a complete attitude role reversal. Seven's fever had crept back up and he was feeling grumpy and out of sorts, he was crying and complaining that he was miserable. I overheard this conversation from their bedroom...
Ten: You know, you really shouldn't complain. There are kids in this world who have nothing. No clothes, no food, no toys, no medicine, no DVDs, no video games, no PIZZA!! We are so lucky.
Seven: (sniffling) I don't feel very lucky right now.
Ten: Did you know there are kids in this world who are penniless? PENNILESS! (I could hear him pick up the piggy bank and shake it.) Just look how many pennies we have. We are so lucky.
Seven: Not feeling the lucky here. (Does this sound like his mother or what?)
Ten: You should name four good things that happened today. That's what we learned in Guidance today.
Seven: Fine. Nothing, nothing, nothing, and nothing.
Ten: Oh I give up.
Then later Seven was telling his brother about how the Russian people were oppressed before the 1980's and Gorbachev and Perestroika. No, he didn't use those words. Gimme a break. He's bright, but he's only Seven. We'd been watching Paul McCartney's Red Square concert on DVD and they talked about how people weren't allowed to listen to Beatles music back in the 1960's. Seven was telling Ten about how the Communist government would put people in jail if they listened to certain music. I thought, Wow, we're getting into some heavy political discussion here. Then Seven said, "And then the Russian president showed up at the concert and in the middle of the song Paul said, 'Come on Mr. Putin!'" and they dissolved into little boy laughter. Because, of course, the Russian president's name sounds like passing gas. "President POOTIN'" they squealed, and giggled repeatedly.
Yep, definitely men in training.