I'd like to tell you about something I've been playing for years around Ye Olde Princess Homestead--it's a little game I like to call Six Degrees of Blame Dan. Remember that game, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon--where you take any actor or actress and connect them, through movies, back to Kevin Bacon in six steps or less? Well, this is a bit like that. Except, well, not.
Here's how I play. No matter what is going on in my life, no matter what the problem is, I can trace it back to my adoring husband and make it completely his fault in six steps or less. Usually less, because I'm that good. Sounds like fun, huh? Let me give you an example:
We're out of bread for the kids' lunches. Well, that's Dan's fault because 1) I couldn't go to the store today because 2) Dan worked late. Okay, that was way too easy. Let's try another one.
Here's an example from Monday: I forgot the book I needed for my lesson plans because (1) I was really tired because (2) I didn't get any sleep Sunday night because (3) Dan kept me up watching the Eli Manning show, I mean, the Super Bowl and (4) he woke up at 3:50 Monday morning to be at work by FIVE FREAKIN' A.M. (!!) which means I (5) tossed and turned until my alarm went off at 5:30.
And here' s one more. This one's a little more complicated, so try to stay with me.
I couldn't wear my favorite underwear--the ones with the pink polka-dots (oops, is that an overshare? TMI?) because (1) I couldn't do the laundry because (2) I hurt my back (3) playing air hockey, even though (4) I told my mom not to buy the air hockey table but (5) she did anyway because (6) Dan told her to buy it. So, as you can see, it was CLEARLY Dan's fault.
Is this a great game or what?
But I should add that I love the air hockey table now so Dan was right and I was wrong (but don't tell him I said that). And I did eventually wash my favorite panties. (Yes, I know, still TMI. Deal with it.) Oh, and my back is feeling much better because Dan taught me his physical therapy stretches and he healed me so he's forgiven.
Even though it was totally his fault. ;-)