Breakfast and Spring

This morning, as I lolled around in a Benadryl stupor, I heard a wee little hesitant knock on the bedroom door. At least I thought I did. But it was so timid that I thought maybe I'd imagined it. I lay back down to slip back into my coma but then I remembered that the little guy is sick and maybe he needed me. I groaned, "Come in," which, naturally, woke Dan up from his deep, non-Benadryl-induced, sleep-of-the-dead thing that he does every night.

No one answered.

So I groaned again, louder, "Come in!"

Nothing.

I got up and stumbled to the door, grabbing one of Dan's shirts off the floor to cover my lower half with since I was only wearing a T-shirt. There, on the other side of the door, was my supremely intelligent, straight-A, gifted, oldest child. I croaked out, "What do you need, son?" in my allergy-dry, early morning frog voice.

His eyes immediately darted to my T-shirt covered lower half, which creeped me out. Then he looked back at my face and said, "Um, yeah, I was going to make "Daddy Pop-Tarts" but I didn't know if I was supposed to butter them before or after I put them in the toaster."

Yes, folks, that's my gifted child.

You see, "Daddy Pop-Tarts" are Frosted Brown-Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts the way Dan makes them. First he toasts them, and then he slices the non-frosted side into a checkerboard pattern and slathers them with butter. Because, you know, they just aren't quite fattening enough on their own without the butter.

By then I was awake and I remembered that I needed to get up because it was actually an hour later than I thought it was. So much for sleeping in. Stupid daylight savings time. Stupid Bradford Pears. That's right folks, it's that time again--time for my hatred of Bradford Pear trees to swell exponentially, as it does every spring.

But at least it's not snowing. I'll take it. Bring on the warm weather, even if it does make the trees stink even worse.

Anniversary Dinner

So tonight Dan and I took the kids with us to Zaxby's for our 18th anniversary dinner. Because we are SO fancy, we wore our good sweatpants.

While Dan and I were ordering we sent the kids to pick out a table. Eight chose a booth for four, while Eleven picked out the big, round, corner booth. I told him no, that we needed to save that table for a larger family because there are only four of us. He disagreed, but reluctantly left the table and came over to the booth his brother chose, grumbling the whole way. When Dan arrived with the food, Eleven was still complaining. Dan told him that we needed to leave that table in case a party of twenty showed up. I laughed and said, "Well, I don't think that table will seat twenty, but definitely more than four."

Eleven piped in and said, "Oh, it will seat nine. I know because I measured. With my butt."

Then he demonstrated how he scooted around the booth, counting butt prints as he went. Yep. That's my gifted child.

Later, while he was munching his grilled cheese sandwich, he bit his tongue or the inside of his cheek or something. He sat there saying, "Ouch, ouch, ouch," until we acknowledged his injury. Dan jokingly asked if I ordered extra glass slivers in the sandwich, to which Eleven deadpanned, "I didn't know they used sharp cheddar cheese."

Ha, ha. Dinner AND a show.

Happy anniversary, honey. Thanks for giving me the last eighteen years and our two precious children. But next weekend, let's go out to dinner and leave them at home, 'kay?

Lily's latest photos

Eleven is going on a field trip tomorrow to J.A. Biztown. This is a great program in which kids get to interview and train to do real-life jobs. Eleven desperately wanted to be a photographer, but since he's such a math genius he was chosen to be a bank teller. He was a little bummed about it, so I told him he could have my old camera and take pictures whenever he wants.

His favorite subject is our dog Lily. Since Lily's status has been recently upgraded to Couch Dog, this creates many a photo op for our budding young Peter Parker. He had a blast today taking pictures of her sound asleep with her head hanging upside-down off the couch. He took some of them upside down so that Lily's face looks right-side up when she's hanging. They're SO funny! See for yourself...

Corndogs?

Eleven just let loose a truly disgusting, rafter-shattering, floor-board-reverberating belch in the other room. Then I heard him say to his brother, "Why did my burp just taste like corndogs? I've never even eaten a corndog."

In addition to the EUW factor this comment created, it poses a question: how would he recognize the taste of corndogs if he's never eaten one?

My kids are so weird.

Slumber Party

My baby, who is now Eight, had some friends over to spend the night last night for his birthday. Luckily his buddies are as sweet as he is. We ate pizza and cookies, they played video games, watched cartoons, wrecked the bedrooms, cleaned everything up, and had a great time. We spread the futon mattress and the Aerobed out on the bonus room floor and let them all crash together. It was a quartet of little boy snores. So cute.

The really interesting part was getting everybody ready for church this morning. I lined them up single file, wet my hands, and tried to get their hair to lay down flat. I ended up only taking two boys with me (one got picked up before church and my oldest son decided to stay home with his dad) but they looked so handsome! If I ever make it to the store with my phone's memory card, I'll get the pictures posted. Yeah, I'm not holding my breath either.

After lunch we went to Target to help Eight spend his gift cards. As we were walking into the store I said to him, "Come here and let's see if I can still carry you now that you're eight-years-old." And I could. I scooped him up and carried him all the way into the store, only putting him down when I had to.

Just because I still could.

Tender Moment

My youngest child is almost eight years old, which just defies the laws of nature. He's my BABY! A couple of days ago I tried to lift him up for a hug and found that I couldn't...unless he jumped first.

I scooped him up to sit on the kitchen counter for a hug because he's too heavy to hold for a long time. I wrapped both arms around him and tucked his head under my chin, where it still fits perfectly. I rubbed and patted his back as I told him how I used to hold him just like that when he was a baby. I said, "I used to pat your little baby back after you finished eating so I could burp you."

And then the little darling let out a belch to rival any redneck in a biker bar after about six beers and dissolved into hysterical giggles.

I said, while trying not to laugh, "Well, at least it didn't come out the other way."

When I felt his stomach muscles clenching and unclenching against mine I pushed him away and told him lovingly, "If you toot on me, you're dead meat, mister."

More hysterical giggles followed.

I'm so glad we had that tender moment together.

Report Card brag

The kids got their report cards on Monday and I totally forgot to blog about them. That's me--Mother of the Year for the eleventh consecutive year. They're thinking of retiring my crown.

Anyway, Eleven made straight As with no marks for conduct. He's a super-awesome brainiac AND a well-behaved role model for his classmates. Yes, we're talking about MY child. My oldest child, believe it or not. He earned the top honor in his class for behavior last week--the Golden Key--so he had his picture taken for the bulletin board at the school's entrance. Oh, and he was selected to be in the choir. Seven really wants to be in choir too but, unlike their old school, choir is only available for fifth grade and a few select fourth graders.

Seven made all As and Ss. This county doesn't do A, B, C grades for Reading, which is different than what we're used to. They just do an S for Satisfactory. He also had no marks for conduct. In fact, his teacher asked me, "Have you EVER had to discipline this child?"

They're both doing great in their new school. We're so proud of both of them.

***Updated 10-6-08 to add that Seven won the Golden Key for this class for this week. Please note that this is the first time in recorded history that the older brother won a conduct award BEFORE the little brother. Oh, and Eleven has not pulled a clip or moved a card or whatever the heck it is that they do ALL YEAR so far. YAY! Seven had one day when he wasn't "on blue," but that's because his group was being loud (but he insists he was NOT talking).

Boy Party

Tonight Grama was kind enough to let Ten, pardon me, Eleven, invite a couple of his new friends over to her house to celebrate his birthday with him.

Digression #1: If you ever invite S over to your house, do NOT let him eat hot dogs first. Dear Lord in Heaven, that child can fart. At least Mom won't need to buy any roach killer for the next few weeks. S took care of the fumigating for her.

They sprayed each other with insect repellent and explored the woods. J found a whip and tried to swing from a branch á la Indiana Jones. They picked berries and grass and added creek water to make "secret magic potions" in little jars. They swung in the hammock as if it were some kind of challenge course on Wipeout and tried to get each other to fall off the side. They talked too loud, ran through the house like bulls in a china shop, and generally wreaked havoc wherever they went.

You know...little boy stuff.

So here we were with a stack of pizzas and a house full of sweaty little testosterone-laden fart machines.

Digression #2: Pizza has the same effect on S as hot dogs.

Digression #3: Pizza also has that effect on my dog when little boys and their Grama feed her pizza. Trust me on this.

It was time for Eleven to open his presents and Mom suggested that perhaps she should open them and keep them for herself.

Eleven said, "No way, Grama. You're too old."

We all laughed and reacted with varying degrees of "Oh no he di'int!"

Then Eleven dug the grave a little deeper and said, "Well, I guess you could have a present, but only if it was something like a cushion."

At this point we're not sure if he'll make to to be Twelve.

Not an Infomercial, much

Update on the sick kid:

Ten took a TWO HOUR NAP today and woke up with a fever. He didn't want to eat lunch, he just wanted to sit around curled up in a blanket and shiver and moan about his headache, earache, stuffy and sniffly nose .

You guessed it. We piled in the old Camry and headed back to CVS. I still heart Minute Clinic.

We waited for less than five minutes. Total. You know how when you go to your regular doctor's office you wait in the waiting room for the length of, oh, say the Democratic National Convention (and, dear Lord, that was LONG--not that I watched it or anything, EUW), and then you're finally shown back to the smaller room, the exam room, where you tell all your symptoms and problems and list the meds you're taking to the nurse. Then you wait another short eternity until the doctor finally graces you with his presence and you have to completely repeat everything you already told the nurse. What's the point of that, anyway? Then he goes away to write the prescription and a nurse brings it back to you, as if the All Mighty Doc is far too important to hand you the little piece of paper he scribbled his illegible signature on. Am I bitter? Maybe a little.

Because, at the Minute Clinic, there's none of that hoopla. For the same co-pay that I pay at my doctor's office, I waited less than five minutes before I was shown into the little room by the actual person who would be giving my kid the drugs to make him better. I didn't have to repeat anything. She didn't have to go away to write the scrip, but looked it up on the computer right there in front of me. Then I walked ten feet to the pharmacy counter and picked up his meds. Could that possibly be easier?

I realize that there's a time and place for seeing your regular doctor. In fact, my doctor used to be the Main Head Honcho Guy over that location of Minute Clinic. (In fact, I'm pretty sure that was the title printed on his ID card. MHHG for short.) If illnesses keep occurring then the patient's condition needs to be addressed more agressively. If there's a more serious illness then you need to see your regular doc. But a sinus/ear infection on a holiday weekend? Um, yeah. I'm loving the Minute Clinic so much right now.

Now, I do not own stock in CVS or Minute Clinic. But I kinda wish I did.

Seven is doing much better today. Now Ten has antibiotics, ear drops, tussin CF, and gallons of Gatorade so he should be on the mend soon too. Oh, and chocolate chip cookies. He's my kid after all and chocolate always makes me feel better.

"Poop Fairy" just doesn't have the same ring

Last night the boys were sitting at the kitchen table eating chocolate ice cream and discussing Ten's recent lost tooth--a molar.

Ten: Here's something I don't get about the Tooth Fairy. Why teeth? I mean, who would want to run around collecting teeth? That's pretty weird.

Dan: Well, the Poop Fairy would be even weirder.

Ten and Seven, laughing: Euw! That's nasty.

Dan: And besides, you wouldn't want to go to sleep at night with poop under your pillow.

Ten and Seven: Oh gross! Dad, we're trying to eat here!

Dan: Hey, that's free advice right there. You can use that.


Yep. That's the man I chose to raise children with, folks. Because he's four years older than me and oh so mature and stuff.

More Play Pictures

I finally installed the software for my new camera and uploaded more pictures from the boys' musicals at school. I know, I know, what took me so long?

Oh, just the little matter of trying to sell a house, find a house, have a yard sale, and get ready for a new job, that's all.

So, here they are. Enjoy...

The Good, The Bad, The Mommy

5 Ways I've Been a Bad Mom This Week:

1. Waited until the kids were asleep and then threw away a bunch of their precious, priceless artwork. Read: pages and pages of scribble drawings on lined notebook paper ripped from a spiral notebook.
2. Actually told Ten to "shut up" after my ears started to bleed from listening to his non-stop talking, humming, and sound effects.
3. Ten minutes later put him in time-out for telling his brother to "shut up."
4. Slightly burned the bacon I made for them because I was unloading the dryer and forgot about it. (But they scarfed it down without a complaint.)
5. Yelled, "WHAAAAT?!" in a very frustrated tone after the ten millionth time I heard them say, "Hey MOM?"

5 Ways I've Been a Good Mom This Week:

1. Managed to ignore most of the arguing (even though they drove me crazy) so that they could learn to work it out on their own.
2. Fed them healthy meals, despite their complaints and the fact that it would've been easier to let them eat junk food.
3. Helped them clean out the playroom closet (one tiny little piece at a time) rather than dump out the toybox into the trash.
4. Let them play with squirt guns in the back yard, even though I knew they would track in mud and wet grass and I'd have to mop the floor again.
5. Gave them each a dollar out of the blue when I caught them being good and helping me keep the house clean.
   

Ice Cream for Breakfast

Today was VERY emotional for young Seven. It was the last day of school and, for my kids, it is truly their very last day at that school. Ever. The minute we walked into Seven's teacher's room the waterworks started.

And Seven cried too.

His teacher, the educational assistant for first grade, another child's mom, me...we were all boo-hooing. Seven loves school and is really going to miss it. Of our whole family, he's the most reluctant to move because he doesn't want to leave the house, his school, his friends, his GIRLFRIEND, his church, or anything. We had to go say good-bye to all his related arts teachers and his kindergarten teacher too. Gah, it was so painful. It'll be a miracle if he doesn't come out of this with a sinus infection because, DANG, there was a lot of ugly cry going on. Yes, it's still called "ugly cry" even if it's a little boy doing it instead of a woman because his face was all red and splotchy and just awful.

The good news is he made all Es again. He only made one S the entire school year. His STARS report says that he's reading on a 4.2 grade level (second month of fourth grade) so we're suitably impressed. His teachers at that school were amazing and we will miss them.

Ten also said good-bye to his teacher. No drama there--he was so relieved to be done with that class. I promised I would never say anything negative on this blog about his teacher and I will uphold that vow even though school is over. I will just say that he survived fourth grade and leave it at that. Well, he more than survived it: he finished with all As for the second half of the year and all of his year-end averages. It was a challenging year but he made it through and I'm very proud of him.

After the two hour school day I decided to treat them to ice cream. Problem: Baskin Robbins wasn't open yet. We have one of those Baskin Robbins stores that's attached to a Dunkin Donuts store and it was totally jam packed today. Everyone had the same idea we did! I asked the manager when the ice cream side would open and he said, "Normally we open at 10:00 but if you want something we'll get it for you." I think he just noticed Seven's tear-stained face and thought, "I'm going to give this poor kid whatever he wants."

I know I felt that way.

This was a FULL HOUR before they were scheduled to open, but the nice man came over to the other side and got my kids a couple of scoops of chocolate and a candy topping. Because nothing says summer vacation like ice cream and Reese's bits for breakfast!

That's good parenting, right there. Feel free to take notes.

Dig It!

As I mentioned before, Ten was in a play at school Tuesday night called Dig It! It's all about ancient civilizations (Mesopotamia, Rome, Greece, India, and China) and the impact they had on future generations. Ten played a Roman soldier who was teasing Romulus about his struggles with building Rome. Example:

Ten: "Hey Romulus, how's Rome going? Heard you were having some troubles with your aqueducts."

Romulus: "Hey, it wasn't built in a day, you know!"

Mom and I (mostly Mom) pieced his costume together out of bits and pieces of things we already had around our houses. We spray painted a dollar store shield, a Batman chest plate, and a construction hard hat. Mom duct taped some soccer shin guards and gave Ten some sandals to wear. She also made him a "man skirt" but he decided to wear shorts instead because he didn't want the other boys to tease him. Oh and he also wore a Superman cape inside out so that it was solid red.

But my favorite part of the whole thing was the fact that if we turned Ten upside down we could polish the floor with his head. Mom spray painted some Swiffer dusters red and I hot glued them to the top of the helmet. That part cracked me up!

We went out to eat at Logan's after the show and Ten was strutting through the restaurant in his costume, loving being the center of attention. Hey kept saying things like, "Don't worry citizens; Rome is safe!"

Wonder where he gets that from?

MVP Treatment

The boys were way overdue for haircuts and I had a free coupon for SportClips, so we decided to check it out. Since they were new customers they got upgraded to the MVP package. This service includes a "Precision Haircut," a shampoo massage with tea tree oil shampoo and fancy schmancy conditioner, and a steam towel massage afterwards.

Oh Holy Cow.

These children are never going to happily settle for an ordinary haircut ever again. I think Seven's favorite part was when the girl showed him how to use the remote to raise and lower his chair. Ten was WAAAY too into the steam towel treatment. I just hope he doesn't try to recreate that one at home.

When we got home I decided to take some pictures of their cute new 'do outside so I could use my old camera. I still haven't had time to break out the instructions or install the software for my new camera. Our dog, Lily, wanted to play with the boys, not pose for pictures, so of course hilarity ensued.

Have you ever tried to photograph a huge, playful dog and two wiggly, silly boys at the same time? Here are my results.

Your mileage may vary, but I doubt it.

More Chicken Little Pix

Wish me luck. I have TWO job interviews tomorrow up Mom's way and anther one on Monday. I'm SO nervous!

Mom just emailed me the pictures from Sunday (when we did the family party for Mother's Day, my birthday, and my brother's birthday) and from last night's show. I love the cannibal chicken picture!

The Sky is Falling

Tonight we went to the first grade play, Lemonade, at the boys' school. Seven played Chicken Little and did an amazing job! He said his lines loud and clear and didn't miss a single cue. Such a professional! Big brother Ten was a wonderful greeter, standing at the door and handing out programs to the parents. He was very proud of his Chicken Little brother.

Seven's first line of the show cracked me up:

The sky is falling.
The sky is falling.
Oh what are we to do?
I felt it on top of my Chicken Little head,
so I know it's true.

He was so stinking cute in his costume. See for yourself...

























I designed it; Mom sewed it. Don't we make a great team?


I had to take the picture outside because of my stupid dead camera, but Mom got me a new camera for my birthday. As soon as I figure out how to use it, install the software that goes with it, and upload the pictures I'll add more here. Don't hold your breath. I'm also working on the house, getting ready for a yard sale, and have two job interviews this week. So I'm a wee bit busy. Mom is going to email some pictures that she took, so I'll add a slide show when I get them.


We went out to eat after the show and Seven kept his costume on. The other diners thought he was so cute--especially when he ordered chicken crispers!

I'm so proud of the little poultry!

Choir Cuties

I'm in a mad, crazy rush to get stuff done on my house, but here's a quick update:

I was NOT able to get my camera fixed. Grrr. It's only two years old! I can send it off for repairs for $97 or buy an upgrade, a refurbished camera for $85 and it comes with a six month warranty. So here I am without a camera at the most picture-takingest time of year and I'm not super pleased about that.

I managed to snap a few shots before the choir concert but I couldn't take any during the show because my camera won't flash. Here are my adorable singers in their matching choir shirts:
Here's a picture of them in the audience while we were watching the band concert.


Don't they look pleased to be there? The bands were all quite good, but the concert was very long. We sat through about 15-18 songs and by this point they were ready to get back on stage and sing their last two songs.

Okay, Dan is reading over my shoulder, so it's time to get back to work on the house...

Poetry Night

Tonight was Fine Arts Night at the boys' school. All the kids' framed art was on display and available for purchase throughout the school. Their art teacher is fabulous!

First grade does a Poetry Slam every year, which is really a highlight of the year. Seven's class was transformed into The Steaming Cup. They hung black paper all over the walls, spread white Christmas lights everywhere, served coffee, hot cocoa and baked goodies, and built a stage for the kids to read selections from their favorite poets and an original poem they wrote. Oh, they also decorated the room with little beatnik cartoons they drew. Seven's has a speech bubble which says,

"I just wrote a new song. I think you'll probley dig it."

So cute.

Here's the poem by Jack Prelutsky that Seven chose to recite:

Something big has been here,
what it was, I do not know,
for I did not see it coming,
and I did not see it go,
but I hope I never meet it,
if I do, I'm in a fix,
for it left behind its footprints,
they are size nine-fifty-six.

His original poem was about a kind of bird, the Hammerkop. He had to research it in Science class and then write this poem about it.

Hammerkop

Trees are home for this dome-shaped nest.
Better and stronger than all the rest.
Strong enough to hold a man.
Try to break it if you can.
And I don't think that's a very good plan.

Wading in water to find his treat.
He rarely goes deeper than his feet.
Catching fish with his hook-shaped bill.
Watching him is a thrill.
Hammerkop is the kind of bird you want to meet.

The kids (and many parents) dressed in all black tonight and wore berets. Since my camera is totally messed up, my friend Shelly took these pictures for me.

Revisionist History

Seven loves to tell us about famous people throughout history. The problem is, he has no clue what he's talking about. He takes bits and pieces of what he's learned, puts his own spin on it, and then tells us how he thinks it all happened.

For example, here's what he taught us at the dinner table tonight. "Did you know that back when Martin Luther King, Jr. was alive there was another African American named Martin? This was after all the black slaves were freed, okay? So there was this other guy named Martin and he nailed a letter to the door of the church that told everybody that all they had to do was love Jesus and believe in Him and then they could all go to heaven and stuff because people thought you had to pay to get to heaven."

We tried to tell him about Martin Luther and the Protestant Reformation and that MLK was actually named after Martin Luther (many years later). We told him that Martin Luther was white and lived in the 1500's and MLK was in the 1960's, but he liked his version of the story better.

Then when he was getting ready for bed he told us all about the Liberty Bell... "During Thomas Edison's time, you know, when he was signing the Proclamation of Independence, somebody shot the Liberty Bell and it cracked right down the middle and it's still there."

Anybody else worried about his social studies grade?