My New Crush

Have ya'll seen my new boyfriend? He is a pretty, pretty man. This post is sure to upset my husband, but he's going to have to get over it. After all, HE is the one who went out of town for five days and LEFT HIS WEDDING RING AT HOME, so I'm completely justified in bragging about my new crush. Can I get an amen?

Anyway, celebrity crushes are totally safe because, 1) The celeb is someone you'll never, ever meet in real life. It's not quite the same as developing a crush on, say, the guy at the Qwik Sak who gives me my beloved vanilla diet Coke, because he might be attainable. If only he had teeth. 2) Even if, by some miracle, you actually met this person he/she would not notice you, the crushee, and 3) If, by a really giant miracle, said celeb actually noticed you and talked to you, you still wouldn't stand a chance with them so there's NO RISK that adultery will occur.

Besides all that, I'm madly in love with my husband so that usurps any and all risk. So relax, Dan.

But, day-um, Jason Taylor is a slammin' hottie. I love me some shiny-headed bald guy. And, let's be honest, I'm sure it's no hardship for Dan to look at Edyta either, so we're even. I wish I had Edyta's body. No, not in that way, the way my husband wishes he had her body, I wish my body looked like hers. You could bounce a quarter off those abs. By the way, she's married and so is Jason. Just so you know.

I confess, I had never heard of Jason Taylor until last night, even though he was the NFL Man of the Year, because I'm not a Dolphins fan. Or any sort of football fan. Well, that's not really putting it strongly enough--I have absolutely ZERO interest in football on any level: Pro, college, high school, Peewee league, any of it. Yuck.

But, yowza, can that man dance! He glides across the floor. When he moves, it's like buttah. I don't know much about the foxtrot or the mambo, but he looked pretty freakin incredible to me.

So, who's your celebrity crush?