Sunday, March 23, 2008
I was all set to do a really profound, reverent, serious Easter post today because, you know, I serve a risen savior, he's in the world today and all that. But then I remembered that I'm just not that girl. Yes, I love the Lord and stuff, but this is just not a serious blog. There are lots of Christian mommy bloggers out there who already do that shtick and do it well so I'm not going to be one of them. However, I have some really great Easter tips and tutorial for all my interpeeps on this fine (COLD!) resurrection Sunday.
First, I love when people ask me obscure questions that I actually know the answer to (even when I have to parenthesize to avoid ending a sentence in a preposition, like now). My brain, she is chock full of useless trivia that's just dying to come out, if only people will ask the right questions. Which Lana did today while we were teaching Threes at church. I made some comment about how all our little girls were freezing in their strappy little pastel dresses today since Easter was so early this year. And Lana said, "Yeah, it is really early this year. I wonder how they decide when Easter will be."
And ya'll, I was practically jumping up and down waving my arms in the air saying, "I know! I know!" Practically or, you know, actually doing it. Whatever.
Anyway, I told her that Easter falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon on or after the vernal equinox because I KNEW THAT. She looked at me blankly for a minute like I was some kind of freak and said, "What's a vernal equinox?" I said, "The first day of spring." She continued to stare at me until I said, "Yeah. I know a lot of weird things. Easter can fall anywhere between March 22 and April 25, because it's based on the old pagan lunar calendar. Yes, I'm a geek. Your point was?"
But the best Easter information of all came from a most unlikely source...the cashier at the Daily's Qwik Sak where I stopped this morning on the way to church to pick up my gigantic 112 ounce vanilla diet Coke (and then had to run to the Ladies all through church). Now, I've been to a lot of churches--Mom was Catholic, Dad was Methodist, we attended a Cumberland Presbyterian church when I was growing up, I used to be the preschool pastor at a Nazarene church, and now we attend a Baptist church--but I've never before heard the advice I'm about to share with you in any of those churches.
Just the Sacred Holy Church of Qwik Sak. You might want to take notes.
The middle-aged female cashier was nagging the young teenage male cashier to take his Easter basket with him because, (ya'll I'm not kiddding, she really said this) "You'll break wind in church if you don't have an Easter basket."
So here's hoping everyone has a wonderful, windless first Sunday following the first full moon on or after the vernal equinox. Or, in other words, a fart-free Easter.