How long were your labors?
Kid #1, 26 hours. He still takes forever to get ready to go somewhere.
Kid #2, about six hours, I think. Honestly, it was all a blur of pain and my then three year old singing the theme song from Zoboomafoo at the top of his lungs from his car seat while Dan drove through a rainy construction zone at midnight to get me to the hospital.
How did you know you were in labor?
Kid #1, I was induced because I was suffering from HELLP syndrome. Then my water broke in the hospital bed in the middle of the night.
Kid #2, Horrible pain which started while shopping for groceries at Kroger. No one told me it would feel like I was extremely constipated. I didn't know I was in labor--I just thought I needed more fiber.
Where did you deliver?
Kid #1, Centennial Women's Hospital. Where I didn't have an epidural correctly inserted into my spinal cavity until the very last minute. Then I slept through the delivery. Then I threw up on the operating table. Good times.
Kid #2, Baptist Hospital. They have really good painkillers in post-op. Unfortunately I found out that I was allergic to most of them. Is it any wonder I stopped at two children?
Yes, please. Oh, you mean did I take them then? Heck yeah, sister. They kinda frown on doing a C-section without them. Although I came close with Kid #1.
Um, yeah. I'm 5'2" and both my kids were eight and a half pounds. You do the math. Kid #1 refused to come out. He always has been stubborn.
Kid #2 has his father's sense of direction. He was trying to come out sideways. The triage nurse checked me and felt his ribs.
Doctors. No underwater births with midwives and New Age music for me. I thought that's what I wanted when I was pregnant with Kid #1, but after the first 20 hours of labor I said, "I don't care what you have to do, just get this thing out of me."
The doctor for the first kid was awful. Just awful. She had very rough hands during every examination for the entire pregnancy. When she pulled the screaming little monster out of me she held him aloft over my head, dripping blood on my face. Then she didn't notice when I couldn't get the oxygen mask off my face to throw up because my arms were weighted down with 80 pounds of warm blankets in a failed attempt to keep me from violently shivering during the operation.
The second one was the on-call doctor because it was 1:18 in the morning. I liked her so much I made her my regular doctor after that night. She fixed the horrible scar that the other doctor left behind after the first C-section.
Wow. Is this blog great birth control for women who haven't had kids yet, or what?
Share your Labor Day story if you want. Check out some others at Shannon's blog if you dare. (Insert maniacal laughter here.)