A very nice lady at church killed my blog. No, really.
See, she came up to me at church one Sunday morning this summer and said something along the lines of, "I read your blog. It is such a ministry."
A ministry? Eh?
You mean I'm supposed to be writing inspiring, uplifting blog entries for fellow goody-two-shoes Christian women to read? What? I thought this was just a place for me to whine and moan about things that bother me because it's the only place I can do that without annoying the people I live with. I thought it was a way to keep in touch with my out-of-town friends. Now I'm supposed to write good stuff? Um....I got nothing.
One innocent, well-meaning comment in Sunday School and BAM! my creative juices immediately dried up faster than a Hollywood starlet about to lose a big movie contract. Really. I couldn't write a word because I kept thinking to myself, "I can't say that. People will read it and be disappointed. Because this is a ministry."
Here's the real deal, folks. This blog is NOT a ministry. I am not a role model.
Wow, that was weird. I'm pretty sure I've never quoted Charles Barkley before. Huh. "I'm not a role model... Just because I
Anyway, of course I'm a role model for the kids in my class. I model appropriate behavior, problem-solving skills, and study habits all day long for nine- and ten-year-olds. But serving as a role model of Christian behavior for other adults? Um, gee, no thanks.
Just in case you haven't already figured this out, I'm kind of irreverent. I can be really cranky, snarky, and bitchy, sometimes all in the same blog entry. I occasionally use bad language. I tell fart jokes and all manner of potty humor because I live with all men. I've been known to give in to the urge to gossip. I sometimes consume "non-Baptist" beverages because, much like Gladys Hardy, that old lady on the Ellen show, "I love Jesus but I drink a little." I don't remember to do my daily devotional or keep up with my Bible study like I should. I yell at my kids, my husband, and my dog. I make fun of rednecks at Wal-Mart. I use derogatory terms like "redneck."
See what I mean? NOT a role model.
But now that we've got that out in the open where it belongs, I'm going to continue writing what I write because that's who I am and how I roll. Take me or leave me, peeps. I just wanted you to know that if you're offended, I'm going to be okay with that. Because I warned you. And I'll pray for you, if I don't fall asleep in the middle of my nightly prayers, like I sometimes do. There, I said it.