Locks of Love

Today I chopped TEN INCHES off my hair to donate to Locks of Love to make a wig for kids with cancer. Dan watched and took pictures and didn't even cry when they cut the ponytail off.

Before:

During:

During:

After:

This picture looks kinda weird. My hair is really, really short all over. Not AT ALL like the pictures I brought to show the stylist what I wanted. It's made of lots of really choppy, chunky, short layers all over instead of the long, layered bob that I asked for, but whatever. It grows back. This picture makes it look longer than it is. Very strange picture. I think I'll cut even more off the bottom next month to even out the ends a little more to grow into the bob I asked for.

Anyway the important thing is that a big, thick hunk of hair is going to a worthy cause and I can't possibly pull my hair into a ponytail this summer.

More Trip Highlights

In which I share more random highlights from our trip as I continue to unpack.

Why oh why do toy manufacturers have to make the packaging so impossible to penetrate? If only they could make airplanes out of this same material. No more crashes or hijackings.

My MIL bought all three of her sons matching ski caps (or toboggan hats, as Dan calls them). Well, not exactly matching. Ted's is brown--the other two are blue--so you know who the favorite is. Dan and Jack opened theirs first so when Ted arrived they both said, "Hey man, you need to open your present from Mom. You're going to love it." I'm pretty sure everyone there pulled a stomach muscle laughing so hard.

Here they are...Larry, Darryl, and Darryl.
Through some sort of weird cosmic fluke, the cousins in attendance were Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, and Eleven.

I'm now officially hooked on the Twilight series. I bought the first two books before we left so I could read them on the trip. Not only do my kids have the best aunt in the world, I have the best sister-in-law. When I finished New Moon and starting jonesing for a trip to the bookstore to get Eclipse, Cathy called out of the blue and said, "I'm going to pass right by Borders on my way to Mom's house. Can I pick up a book for you?" Am I loved or what? I finished it last night and now I'm thinking about running down to B&N to get Breaking Dawn. But I know once I start reading it that I won't get anything else done today. Sigh. It sucks being so responsible.

I don't know what my mom fed my dog while we were gone, but she is the most flatulent creature ever created. The dog, not my mom. Just to clarify.

My new favorite toy that my kids received (but Dan and I promptly commandeered--which is totally within our rights as parents): Nerf N-Strike Maverick.

Ew, I just had a presidential debate flashback when I typed the word Maverick. I feel like I should be doing shots of something. Oh yeah, speaking of shooting...

Who needs expensive toys like the Wii system we can't afford because we had to buy new tires and actuarial manuals? Not that I'm bitter. Nope, not me. Dan created this game which involves propping an action figure on a box in the kitchen and trying to shoot him off his perch from a designated spot in the foyer. I don't want to brag or anything (yeah, right) but I'm the uncontested champion. If this whole teaching thing doesn't work out, I may have a promising future career as a sharpshooter.

Okay, enough playing around. I have to go remind Dan that he promised to paint the bedroom with me while I'm off work. And I have to convince him that I actually meant painting the bedroom and not whatever euphemism he thought he was agreeing to. Yep, being responsible is no fun.

Here are the rest of the trip photos:

Lily's latest photos

Eleven is going on a field trip tomorrow to J.A. Biztown. This is a great program in which kids get to interview and train to do real-life jobs. Eleven desperately wanted to be a photographer, but since he's such a math genius he was chosen to be a bank teller. He was a little bummed about it, so I told him he could have my old camera and take pictures whenever he wants.

His favorite subject is our dog Lily. Since Lily's status has been recently upgraded to Couch Dog, this creates many a photo op for our budding young Peter Parker. He had a blast today taking pictures of her sound asleep with her head hanging upside-down off the couch. He took some of them upside down so that Lily's face looks right-side up when she's hanging. They're SO funny! See for yourself...

A Few Pix

I can't post the pictures from Halloween because they're in my camera at home and I'm at Mom's.

But I can post a couple of pictures from last week's dress-up days at school. It was Red Ribbon Week for the Just Say No club, so we dressed up each day to speak out against drugs. Monday we dressed all in red, Tuesday was mis-matched day, and Wednesday was jammies day. I was wearing my Eleven, stop talking and look at the @#$% camera face.Thursday we wore silly hats and I wish we had a picture of it because some friends at school asked me if I was confused and thought it was Dress up Like a Pimp Day. Yeah, I looked that good in my fuzzy pink vest, my pink cowgirl hat with black and white hatband, and my black, pink, and white boa. H-O-T, lemme tell you.

Friday we dressed as what we want to be when we grow up. Mom only took pictures on those two days because she couldn't catch all three of us being still at the same time.

I want to be a Cleveland Indians baseball player and the boys want to be crytozoologists. You mean, you don't know what that is? Yeah, neither did most of the kids at their school, so they had to explain their costumes all day. A cryptozoologist is a scientist who studies evidence that suggests that there may be a living animal that is not yet recognized by science--like Sasquatch, Yeti, the Loch Ness monster, etc. My kids are obsessed with cryptids and can name some kinds you've never heard of in your life. It's crazy.

Anyway, here's the picture...

We had a good time, but my feet were ACHING after wearing my cleats all day. Ugh. Then we drove home to Smyrna to trick-or-treat with our best friends, the Gaffords. Too much Fun!

More pictures soon, including Hannah's favorite pumpkin.

Is it possible to expire from exhaustion?

Sorry for the absence from bloggy-land. I tried to post some pictures the other day from Mom's computer, but it didn't work and I gave up. I'm so TIRED!

Mom and Dad are wonderful about having us here. Since Dad goes to bed and gets up so early, he moved a bed out to his garage (The Man Cave) and gave us their bedroom. Mom is in my brother's old room and my kids are in my old room. Mom had done all of the cooking, laundry, shopping and everything this week. I don't know what I would have done without her. She has been taking the kids to school so I can go in early without making them hang out in my room all morning. She's picked them up so I can work late.

I worked ten hours today and I'm still so far behind. I could work twenty hours a day and not get everything done. There's just so much to do and learn and plan.

My dog is adjusting to being an outdoor puppy. She has a brick patio with a wrought iron fence and a grama who spoils her rotten. In just a few days my dog has fallen completely in love with Mom. She gets treats and walks several times a day and has almost learned to play with Izzy without crushing her. The only thing she doesn't like is the deer family that comes up out of the woods into Grama's yard each night. There's a mommy and daddy deer with a cute little fawn that Lily barks at like she's possessed.

On a sad note, our cat Rocky died. Dan gave her a bath yesterday and she didn't struggle at all. She was wheezing and seemed really weak. When Dan went to check on her this morning she was gone. Our antique cat has finally moved on to that great litter box in the sky. For the first time in sixteen and a half years we are catless. And we're going to stay that way. I'm allergic to cats and it's not fair to keep them outside with the crazy dog.

Hope all my friends at CLC are off to a good start with the school year. I'm sure that Ruth will be a wonderful director. I miss you guys.

Bowling part two

Seven and his girlfriend have been together since they were two years old. For those of you keeping score at home, that's almost six years. That's longer than a lot of marriages!

Her parents haven't exactly told her that we're moving yet because they don't go to the same school and only see each other at church. We're hoping maybe she just won't notice for a while. At least we won't have to break the news until our house sells and at the rate we're going that might never happen.

My future in-laws and I try to arrange "play dates" to get the kids together when we can. Plus, we just like spending time with them because they're fun people. Last Saturday we went bowling with her family and had a blast. Even though Chuck skunked everybody. I blame the shoes. I started out great but then I lost my groove when I nearly lost my shoe. My purple bowling shoes are completely falling apart and I had to use borrowed alley shoes. Blech. Germs.

And, yes, I still have this song running through my mind from the last time we went bowling. It's contagious.

Fun with Fish

My Mom's Chattanooga aquarium pass expired at the end of July. Since I couldn't get into my classroom to work last week, we decided to drive down there one more time while we still could. Mom took a lot more pictures than I did, but here's what I've got...

Cats and Dogs

Remember when I told you about my "special" cat, Rocky, and how she won't stay in her pen? Well, she still won't. But it's gotten worse because now she doesn't even bother to run away from the dog and go hide under the workshop. Dan and I are worried that she's not long for this world. She just sits there and hisses at the dog who stupidly jukes left and fakes right and crouches down whining and trying to entice the ancient cat to play. Rocky just gives her a "talk to the paw," and alternates between hissing and swatting. Of course, this swatting tactic is largely ineffective since she's front-paw declawed.

And before you go all animal rights on me, that was not my choice. At the time Coda adopted us Dan and I still lived in an apartment. That's how OLD the cat is. When the management caught us with our cat they told us we had to have her declawed or move out. Then when Rocky adopted us we thought it wouldn't be fair to have one cat with claws and one cat without because that would give the new young interloper a definite territorial advantage. So, not our choice.

Anyway, the cat has come up with a new solution to the whole sharing the back yard with a dog thing: the picnic table. Which the dog can SO jump up on too, but let's not tell Rocky. She thinks she's safe.
Lily: Hey look, it's a cat.
Rocky: Oh no, it's that stupid dog again.
(Notice all the digging under the table, where Lily's been trying to find a cool spot to sleep?)

Lily: Duuuuuh. Let's see...how can I get up there?
Rocky: I don't recommend it, Alpo breath.Lily: Look, Mommy, there it is! There's that cat! Maybe she'll finally play with me!
Rocky: I'm warning you dog...come any closer and I'll swat you with my totally clawless paw.

Rocky: See? Now you made me go all Devil Cat on you. Stupid dog.
Lily: What fun! I made the cat do that funny sound that I like so much.

Hey Jody, what do you think? Is Rocky in the same league as MeanKitty? I mean, sure, she was totally provoked, but look at the intensity in that hiss. She's all business. Even if she doesn't bother to lift her head while hissing.

Poor cat.

Fun with Chuck

Shelly gave me permission to show you guys the pictures she took at the sleepover Friday night. Seven and his buddies, E and J, had such a great time at Chuck E. Cheese's...

Bowling with Kids

Tonight we went to one of my favorite places. You probably thought I was going to say the mall or a bookstore, didn't you? Yeah, those are also two of my favorite places, but tonight we went bowling. And now I have this song from the great cinema classic, Grease 2, running through my head. I love going bowling any time of year, but especially in the summer because they keep the thermostat in the bowling alley set on 20 degrees below freezing. It feels great when you first walk in from the 90 degree heat, but after about five minutes you start to develop frostbite. But the food....mmmm. There's no better place to go for fried chicken tenders, crispy french fries, and a giant diet Coke (or an Icee if you're one of the kids). I think we all OD'd on deep fried fat.

In our previous life, before we had kids, Dan and I used to meet a group of our favorite people at Melrose Lanes every Friday night. There were four couples who'd be there every week--Dan and me, Lee Ann and Andy, Todd and Deirdre, Brad and Leigh--and a few other people who came unattached--Trish (because at that point Todd wasn't convinced that Jr. really existed), Linda, Jim--and other couples who floated in and out when they could. We'd meet at about 9:00 and bowl until they closed at two in the morning, then we'd go across the street and eat at Krystal's. Most of the group would drink pitchers of beer (except Dan and me because we don't like beer) served by Eddie, the octagenarian female bartender downstairs. I have such fond memories of that time and miss getting together with my buddies. We were never champions, but we were pretty good.

Here's a little-known fact about me: I took a bowling class in college. I had to take a certain number of P.E. classes to keep my cheerleading scholarship, so in addition to water aerobics I took bowling. I even have my own ball (purple) and shoes (white with purple trim). I may not be a very good bowler, but I can accessorize!

Now it's a little different going bowling with kids. In some ways the kids are more mature than we used to be. I won't list any specifics (to protect the guilty) but if you're one of the above-named members of the bowling crew, you know what I'm talking about! Man, we had fun!

I should say that Dan bowled a 176 tonight, ending the game with a turkey (three strikes in a row). We won't mention my score. Or Ten's score. He was mad because he's too old to use the bumpers to keep the ball out of the gutters, so his brother beat him. Soundly.

Here are some pictures of my family taking a break from the heat...

Puppy Love

I love my big, dumb dog. Even though she stinks like stale Fritos and sheds all over my kitchen floor, she's still my dependable, furry little walking buddy.

This Lily cuddle photograph was captured by Ten.

Vanguard Memories

I just got an email from a teacher, Doug Cook, at my alma mater, UT Martin, regarding the theatre department. They're trying to locate all alums to let them know about a theatre reunion and final blowout because they're closing the old Vanguard Theatre on campus and building a new one.

I went through an old photo album of theatre pictures and ran across these. The quality is not great--my scanner is broken so I had to take digital photos of the old pictures--but they're still funny.

In this one with Doug I'm demonstrating the incredible maturity I possessed all through college. Remember, this was one of my teachers at the time...

I was dressed as "Mariane," the daughter of the **title character in Moliere's Tartuffe. I always played the daughters or little sisters or sassy sidekicks or sympathetic best friends. Or, once, a penguin.

Here's my favorite picture from that play when Dorine, the maid, was trying to talk me into reconciling with my lover, Valere. It was so hard to keep a straight face in that scene.


Doug was the guy who designed all the sets, costumes, everything--you name it. He was so talented! But it used to drive me crazy when he'd draw the costume sketches for the characters because he wouldn't give them a face. I kept bugging him and bugging him about Mariane and how she looked weird and I wished he'd draw her a face. So after a while he got tired of me nagging him about it and he gave in and drew her a face. Did I mention that Doug was a major smart alec?

I wish I could show you all the pictures in the photo album because some of them are priceless. I played a desperate housewife (before ABC made it popular), a cheeky schoolgirl, a pregnant homeless girl, a bored socialite, a penguin (as mentioned before), and many others.




This was my first play at Vanguard when I played "Biddy" in Dickens' Great Expectations early in my freshman year. That was the start of a long and unbelievably fun college acting career.

I can't wait for the reunion!

**Update to add: After I posted this earlier I remembered that Mariane was NOT Tartuffe's daughter, but Orgon's daughter. Tartuffe is the swindler who tricks Orgon.

Then, when I tried to get online to fix this post, I couldn't get online. When I turned the computer off during a thunderstorm it automatically updated Windows. The new update was a security thing and it thought Zone Alarm was a security risk so it wouldn't let me on. Dan, my hero, called the help desk and fixed everything for me so that I could edit this post.

God forbid any experts on 15th century French plays read this blog and think I'm a moron. Wow, really dodged a bullet there, huh?

More Mohican pictures

My sister-in-law Cathy's friend, Jean, just sent me some pictures that she took on our trip to Ohio last month. Enjoy!

At the Zoo

Yesterday Mom and I met at the zoo, dragging seven kids and several coolers along with us. We walked all over the place and had a nice picnic lunch. The weather was perfect--sunny, not too hot, not too cold, but just right. It was a blast watching the animals with teenagers because everything was funny to them. Especially the Schmidt's Guenon. There was a trio of monkeys grooming each other and eating fleas right off the other ones' backs. We cracked up when they were picking at each other in the hind end region. I kept expecting one of them to say, "Of course we're going to throw poo at them."

I got a sad glimpse into Ten's dating future. Here he was with two teenage hotties and all he could do was correct their false knowledge about reptiles. Conversation overheard in the "Unseen World" exhibit...

Hot Teen Girl #1: Wow, look at that turtle! It's huge!

HTG#2: OMG. That's the biggest turtle I've ever seen!

Ten: (completely oblivious to their hotness) Well, actually, that's a tortoise.

HTG #1 and #2 (rolling eyes) Same difference.

Ten: Actually, they're very different. Turtles live in wet climates. Tortoises live in dry climates. Since this is clearly a desert biome, that's obviously a tortoise.

HTG #1 and #2 (giggling and rolling eyes again) Whatever!

Ten: They're totally different animals but, yeah, whatever. (eye roll of his own)

Then he looked to me as if to say, Geez, these girls are such airheads. I might as well stock up on pocket protectors for the poor kid right now.

Enjoy this slide show of pictures from the zoo. I took about a zillion more pictures because Ten wanted at least one picture of every single animal, but I won't bore you with all of them.

Fun Day at the Park

Today our realtor held an Open House at our place. Only ONE couple showed up but, hey, that's two more people than we had the first four weeks it was on the market! They loved the house but it's not right for them. Sigh. They have some neighbors who might be interested, so maybe something good will come out of this.

Since we had to be gone for two hours, we packed the dog up in the car and headed out to the park. We had a really good time, even if we did end up covered with dog hair and drool.

Anybody wanna buy a slightly used labrador retriever?

I'll sell her to you...cheap! So here's what I did today:

















































And here's what Lily did five minutes later....








She loves to dig up the dirt under the table and then burrow in where it's nice and cool. Stupid dog.